So I finally pulled my bike out of the garage this morning. After I squeezed my jiggly thighs into my pants this morning I immediatley pulled them off (inside out, because they were so freaking tight!) and decided that this is it! The day I start smartening up and getting back to where I am happy ...and not lookin too bad for a woman my age!
I have been struggling with 5 lb gain for the last year and a half. I believe it was due to ADRENAL FATIGUE. At the time I gained this weight I had just lost my Dad & was dealing with an overwhelming rash of emotions from complete disgust to guilt to simply not giving a shit! My fathers death was preceeded by my mother's 2 years earlier. Durung the 2 years my family was without my Mom, My Dad remarried, before my mom was gone a year, to her massage therapist, who is only 6 years older than me... Adrenal Fatigue is caused by large amounts of stress, see any hints of stress in my rant? That is a whole other story we will share anoither day.
So during this time I was carrying on with my healthy lifestyle I had aquired. I was by no means a "health nut" but a healthy diet , a good nights sleep, a lot of water and supplements were part of my regular routine. I then signed up for a cardio kick boxing class- LOVED IT!! I felt powerful and alive, that is after the fisrt 2 weeks when I quit tasting my lungs after class! Strangely I started gaining weight & feeling so tired and depressed. Adrenal Fatigue is more common than people can believe. Most doctors will not adknowledge that it exists. I believe if I had gone to my doctor I would have been diagnosed with fibromyalga or chronic fatigue as well as depression as it runs in my family. When I read up on it I was shocked to find that recovery can take at least 2 years! TWO YEARS!? Not me! I'm not going to feel like a big ball of shit for 2 years! Well even with all my research, supplements, diet, not being so stressed (well, kinda!), and all the other lifestyle changes I made, I am just starting to feel human again.
Now I am ready! I am not happy with my time that has been wasted nor with my closet full of clothes that do not fit! I am now taking the bull by the horns and getting back to the OLD me, which will then be the NEW me, even though I'll be an older version of the new me, yet a better new me because I am in a better place ...so a new old older new me!
As the title of this blog implied, I did have some random thoughts on my bike ride this morning. I start out all my rides by riding north of my house because that is where I have to go uphill. I always figured that I should get the uphill part of the ride out of the way first. You know, do the hard work first so that the rest doesn't seem as bad, possibly even enjoyable. So as I rode up the hill I realized that in life there iare many "uphill" type things: clean the house during the week so you can have the weekends off; save and maybe go without a little so you can buy the better ipod, vacation, house; study hard in university so you can get the better job ...up the hill and down we coast... One just has to realize when we are coasting. Sometimes we are climbing many hills at the same time so we don't realize that we are costing down another. How can you be sure that you are truly enjoying all the great things in your life? Sometimes you have to stop pedalling long enough to realize that you are coasting...
On a lighter note, here is another thought I had:
Our 5 month old springer spaniel, Larry decided he would accompany me on my ride. He was running beside me at would look up at me with what seemed like a smile on his silly little face. Suddenly he ran up ahead of me and I was a little worried that he was going to end up lost. I then realized he was in the ditch setting up to have a doggy poop (great thing about the country, I do not have to tote a baggie to pick up the hot stinky turd! I just let it be!) So there he was all ready to do his business and I buzzed past him. Next thing I know he is running past me to the ditch ahead. He started back into position and I thought "Why didn't you just go!?" Sure enough I passed him and again he tried to run up ahead of me so he could do his thing. So my random thought tot this was "WOW! I don't think I could have ran 10 km holding in a poop the whole way!"
